Secret Desires
by SherlocksDetective-ElliotsLove
Summary: Everyone thought she was a sweet mother, a loving wife, but in reality she's just a hunter with secret desires. Will they stay secret is the question? R:M


**A/N: I was reading somewhere that Esme is always the housewife, that it would be different to see her as someone else, portrayed differently... well challenge accepted.**

**Warning: Dark themes a head, suggestions, deaths and whatnot.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own twilight.**

**Summary: Everyone thought she was a sweet mother, a loving wife, but in reality she's just a hunter with secret desires.**

* * *

**Esme POV**

Fools, the lot of them are fools.

Do they think I am their mother? That I would be here, beck and call, and love them unconditionally?

No, I hate them all, the hidden desire to leave this wretched place.

"Esme?" turning, a smile placed on my face as I look down at Alice. The little midget who fucking thinks she's god's gift to this family because of her visions, the only ones I feel an inkling of emotion for and can tolerate in this god awful place is Jasper and Bella. But that doesn't stop the want to hurt them too.

"Yes sweetheart?" I coo, cringing mentally.

"Are you okay?" she asks concerned, her fucking golden eyes wide and misty.

Was I okay? Fuck no, how could I be okay when I am trapped here with you and this wretched family playing the doting wife and mother? How can I be okay, when I have to suck down blood that tastes like dirt and garbage?

"Yes Alice, why do you ask?" I ask sugary sweet, turning to go back to my dusting.

"Oh... No reason, sorry to bother you" she whispers, her voice losing the always there cheer and dashes back upstairs.

They all believe my little lies, my facade. But the joke's on them, I was a killer, a hunter. I wasn't this snooty uptight, all loving mother and wife, no. I was a killer before this eternal curse and I will forever be.

I was trapped here though, fate was a cruel mistress who decided to mate me to a fucking vegetarian, god loving, human worshiping man. Human were our food, the food I should be eating, not _animals._

_Can't eat humans Esme, they have families, lives... _Carlisle's scolding words echo in my mind.  
Yeah well what makes you so fucking special? You kill of animals, they have families too? Every do you kill could have a baby, every bear, wolf and... God, I'm standing up for animals.

_Great, just great. I'm losing my bloody mind. _Shaking my head I continue to play this stupid game, letting my thoughts wander to my human life, to the times where everything was simple for me. For my desires and thirsts.

I was only young, maybe 15 or 16 years of age when I first met Carlisle, I had been taken in because I 'Fell and broke my leg'. But in reality, one that no one knew was that I had snuck into Mrs Johnson's house and killed her, I had pushed her down the stairs and watched as her body broke and bruised. What I didn't expect was the housemaid come rushing out, she was supposed to be in town on errands, I ran and climbed down the lattice, slipping and breaking my leg.

I crawled home, to the tree I climbed to watch her, I heaved myself up on the trunk and cried out in agony. I don't regret it, but I regret ever having met him, he cast my life into the hands of my horrid husband.

After my parents met Carlisle, they had a new idea on what to do with me, their so called _precious_daughter. In reality they got a taste of money, they sold me to that man, he always smelled of tobacco and the finest scotches.

He took my innocence, my youth, and planted his evil seed in my womb after we wedded. My little boy had eased the beast in me, made me feel emotions I had never felt before and I loved him, my precious little baby boy.

But my baby boy was what changed me so drastically, my son died because my so called husband beat me and I couldn't save him. So I buried my son after I ran all the way to the hospital, they blamed me too. Back then it was always the woman's fault, so I took my baby and buried him.

My mind was darker then, the desire to kill stronger than it had been before. So I set out, my dress tattered and covered in dirt, hair a mess with twigs and leaves weaved in. My hands were dirty, clenched as I ran towards my home. They didn't expect me, my mother's horrified gasp as she took in my battered dirty form caused me to smirk, what did she expect?

I remember that night very well.

_Rage consumed me as the door to my home opened; mother stood looking at me with a horrified gasp. She stumbles back, calling for my father. _

"_Esme what on earth happened daughter?" he asks me, softly gripping my arms as his eyes swept over me. _

"_He beat me, killing my child" I whisper, he too stumbles as the weight of my words hit him. _

"_I told you he beat me! I TOLD YOU AND YOU DID NOTHING!" I scream. _

"_You are his wife, you mustn't have pleased him enough!" my mother screeches her hand flying up to slap me. My father looks on, his look of horror vanishing to shock. But I knew he too was the reason for this, he didn't stop it, I told him too. _

"_He took what he wanted! My body, my innocence, my baby… now I will take what's left of you" I utter darkly, picking up my father's metal cane. _

_I struck her over and over, enjoying the pleas and the terrifying screams, her head cracked and blood splattered everywhere. I'm guessing as my father stood there, watching he was heartless and knew he is regretting ever making this heavy thing. _

"_Esme please stop" she cried out, her words slurred as her jaw moved wonkily, blood pouring from her mouth in a constant stream and with every sputter, cough and wheeze. _

"_No" I spat, delivering the one final blow, the death blow. _

_I chucked the cane down; it skidded across the wooden floor with a clank. I wipe away the blood, sweat and my hair from my face with the back of my hand, stepping over my mother like she was nothing… oh she was. _

"_Please Esme, please spare me" my father pleaded, falling to his knees, hands clasped together and head bowed. Little drops of tears splattered the floor with a silent drip, such a weak man. _

"_Spare you?" I laugh out, walking to the fire mantle where father kept his rifle. _

"_Why should I spare you?" I spit out, spinning, gun cocked and ready to fire. His eyes widened in fear, more pleas leave his lips. _

"_Bet you're regretting ever teaching me to shoot" I snark, the gun firing. _

_Brain matter exploded from his skull like confetti, eyes still wide and seeing as his body tumbles forward and connecting with the ground with a loud thump. _

_My next destination was my husband Anthony. I knew he would be home by now; the moon was in the sky high. He normally stumbles in smelling of whisky and cheap perfume by now, before taking me. _

_Lady luck was on my side tonight as I got back to this hell before he did, I waited next to the door for him. I knew where to hit him to make him fall like a dead tree in winter. _

"_ESME!" he roared as the door banged open, like usual he smelled the same, his words slurred. With all the strength I have, I smacked him with the butt of the gun and down he went._

_With a satisfied grin, I jumped, both my feet impacting with his right leg, snapping it. He stirs, but does not wake, so like before I jumped and landed on his left leg. This woke him up, cries of pain as he curled in himself, pleasing me. _

"_Well hello__** husband**__" I spat, his eyes reaching with mine and filling with anger. _

"_Whore, what you think you are doing?" he spits out through gritted teeth. _

"_Giving you what you deserve" I chuckle before starting. He suffered loudly by my very own hands, his blood staining the whole room. His eyes crushed and tongue cut out, his member sliced and shredded with the knife he always carried. His guys were decorated around him like a pretty bow. I felt free, free and tired. I had lost my baby boy. _

_Before I knew it I was standing on the cliff edge, looking down at the jagged rocks. The fall would kill me, I was sure of it. So with a deep breath I fell, the sensation was wonderful. The wind blowing through my hair, the weightless feeling like I was flying then my body impacted with the ground. I felt my bones breaking, my head bouncing and body twisting; I lay broken and cursed all that was out there for not taking me. _

_I drifted in and out, but when I felt the burning I knew, I knew I was going to hell. _

Three days I was in fire, my body being burnt to a crisp and then I find myself staring at the man who started this chain reaction, and a child who stared at me like filth.

"HONEY I'M HOME" Cringing I knew the boys were back from their hunt, I was safe to think for a little be longer, I knew Edward when right to his precious Bella.

"Emmett, inside voice!" I sigh out my scold, still dusting the damn house.

"Sorry Ma'" he laughs out, making his way up the steps.

I can't stand that voice of his, I just feel like ripping his voice box out at most times.

Turning I feel the anger well up in me, the house I oh so cleaned for them now has blood and dirt on the floor, on the carpet and up the stairs.

Jasper shoots me a concerned look as my anger boiled within me, my hands clenching and snapping the duster.

"Sweetheart calm down, it can be cleaned up. Now you need to go hunt, your eyes are dark." Carlisle's painfully aggravating voice reaches my ears.

"No" I whispered, my teeth clenched. I could feel the shock in the house; it was thick in the air.

"Sorry?" Carlisle asks bewildered.

"I said no, I told you this isn't the life I wanted! I told you one day I would be sick of munching on and choking down fucking animals!" I hiss, my eyes snapping to my husband.

"I told you Esme, animals are better for you than humans. We need to save them, they are not food" he scolds me. I saw Jasper stare at Carlisle in shock, utter shock before stepping back, his hands gesturing he won't help.

"IF you truly loved me, you wouldn't care what diet I am on! You wouldn't belittle me and scold me like a child when something goes wrong!" I snarl my hands flying up in the air.

"Mom?" Alice's tiny voice was like nails on a chalk board.

"I am not your mother!" I snap at her, she cringes back, her eyes wide and far away.

"What is wrong with you Esme? You wanted this life" Carlisle sighs out, that was a lie, I never wanted to be this… this housewife.

"Wrong thing to say" Jasper muttered before stepping back further, my vision clouded with red smoke, all I could see was that this family was my capturers, they kept me under lock and key to be this _mother. _

A mighty roar escapes from my chest, glass shattered as the house vibrated.

_Pay pain shred_

_Hunt then what _

_Screams Esme what? _

_Blood, yes blood _

_Snap run away hurt _

_Hunt calm kill _

_From run him _

_Human food hurt _

_Bite screaming snap _

"_Esme!" _

_Crying sobs what who?_

"_Esme please" _

_Cry cry cry _

_Laughing more need_

"_ESME!" _

The red haze lifted and I found myself in Bella's bedroom, she was crying. Blood and venom splattered all over her as I look on passively.

How did I get here though, looking down at my hands I see the small chunks of Edward at my feet. Ash is all over my body and the reflection in the window indicates I have fed on humans.

"Don't say you're sorry" she sobs, her eyes flat almost, her arms wrapped around her almost naked form shivering. Nail scrapes, bruises and other cuts littered her snowy flesh.

"I wasn't" I uttered to her.

"Just leave" she whispers, whimpering in pain. I nod and jump through the window, it was shattered and many items from her room lay across the lawn.

Running home, I find several chunks of flesh searing and crawling to find their owner. They smelled of Emmett and Alice.

Jasper stood in the middle of the rubble that once was our house. He didn't acknowledge me, nor attack me. He just stood staring down at… at Carlisle, hate and rage flowed off him in waves.

"You are a petty man, not fit to be a leader. No mate would force them into a life they didn't want." He uttered darkly before removing his head in one clean swoop.

"Burn him" I growl low, only a nod of acknowledgement let me know Jasper heard me.

"I understand Esme, you need to go. Rosalie went to get the Denali's. It's okay, just go, I forgive you" he whispers before finally moving and chucking carlisles head into the fiery flames.

I did what he said and left, a little laugh escapes my lips as I run.

I finally felt free.

* * *

**A/N: Dark Esme, it's a little confusing but that is the mind of Esme. **

**Please Review**

**Ellie **


End file.
